Prometheus review

Prometheus hails the return of director Ridley Scott to the horror sci-fi genre after, what, 10 years?

Prometheus is suppose to tie in with the rest of the Alien universe by explaining a few things:

Who are the Space Jockeys (that weird elephantine alien guy seen in the first Alien movie)?
Where did we come from?
Are the Predators in here too?
Will Xenomorphs appear?
How much rape overtones will be in this movie?
Will Ripley appear?
And what the heck is the deal with that ginormous head??

Unfortunately, by the end of the movie, I'm about as clueless as ever.

Stop looking at my pimple.

The movie starts off weirdly enough, some humanoid alien drinks some black stuff and starts throwing up, and literally disintegrating into the waterfall, where we are shown some chain reaction happening. In the end, some DNA strands are formed.

Is this the titular Prometheus? So that's how humanity was born.

Through food poisoning of epic proportions.

So fast forward to the year 2089, we find a team of  eggheads who discovers a star map which is the one constant amongst unrelated ancient cultures.

And just like that, a space mission to said universal location starts, and everyone hopes to find their makers and everyone lives happily ever after.

If only.

As typical of any horror movie, when the team reaches their destination, everything goes horribly wrong: people find some weird shit, people get attacked by weird shit, and people who got attacked by weird shit kills even more people.

Oh, and there are aliens too.

Will this guy make an appearance? Watch it to find out.

Ultimately, the movie does not really answer any questions, but throws even more questions at the viewers, though it does add to the Alien mythos.

The marketing may be a bit misleading about the movie though, this is tied to the Alien movies only rather loosely. Sure, there are a few shoutouts related to them, but the movie would've worked fine with or without them.

On the other hand, its much easier to spark wider interest by using the fame of an existing franchise.

The point is: Don't go in expecting an Alien movie, enjoy it for what it is. A sci-fi horror movie that make you be fearful of pregnancies and rape.

For extra fun, bring someone pregnant to watch this movie (disclaimer: I'm joking, please for the love of God, don't actually do it. If you do, you deserve to win a Darwin Award.)

Overall, I found the movie rather enjoyable, and kept me rather transfixed for a full 2 hours. 

There are a few rather graphic scenes in the movie, though not gory, it can make you flinch.  Though most of it didn't faze me.

In the FACCCCEEEEE~!

There was one scene that really stood out for me. You will see that scene about 3/4 ways into the movie, it combines claustrophobia and about half a dozen phobias (mostly medical related) into one scene.

That scene genuinely kept me on the edge of my seat as I watched it.

However, some of the scenes comes across as rather unnecessary for the movie, and seems to be just there for the fear factor. 

Visually, the movie is beautiful. Their spaceship, Prometheus, is beautifully designed. It's like porn for mechanical engineers.

And the planet they're on, codenamed LV-223 is a truly alien-looking landscape, especially more so when our protagonists go inside it.

For me, the highlights of the movie are definitely the performances of Noomi Rapace as Elizabeth Shaw and Michael Fassbender as David the android. Charlize Theron is not bad as well, but does not get as much screentime as the other two.

Noomi Rapace's Shaw has interesting conflict of interest, between her religious beliefs and her scientist beliefs, but I feel that there was not enough time spent on exploring that. Nonetheless, her acting was good, and she looks good too.

Well, usually.

Acting alongside her, is Michael Fassbender's David. We are first introduced to David as he is watching over the crew as they are in cryogenic sleep. At the same time, David is watching and learning about human culture. He also seems to have a fascinating obsession over Elizabeth Shaw, watching her dreams as she sleeps. 

Creepy stalker much?

There is no doubt however that Michael Fassbender's role as David is really, really good. He has a very dark sense of humor and lacks the morals/ethics that would inhibit a normal person. What lets him steal the show is Fassbender's subtle body language: he does not need to use exaggerated faces nor actions.

Take for example in one scene, David finds something fascinating that also ties in with his hidden agenda. He was stoic at first as he lays his head down on the object, then he flashes a very sinister grin. 

That sent shivers down my spine.

Big things have small beginnings.
*snigger*

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A solid movie from Ridley Scott, with ambitious narration, but ultimately it falls a bit short of expectations.

Too many questions and none are answered. Then the movie brings up EVEN more questions.

Most importantly, don't watch this hoping for an Alien movie. Watch it as it is.

I'm sexy and I know it.

John Carter review

Spoiler alert:

JOHN CARTER GOES TO MARS.

And now, review time.

King Kong's regretful one-stand night drunkenness. 

So, this guy, John Carter (duh) somehow finding himself on Mars after stumbling onto some ancient ruins.

Whilst there, he befriends the natives and saves Barsoom (the Martians' name for Mars), and gets laid with the Princess of Mars.

The director for this movie is Andrew Stanton, you may remember him for being the director of Finding Nemo and WALL-E.

Holy EFF-ING shit.

That was one of the main reasons why I wanted to watch this movie, due to those movies being, you know, bloody good.

However, it seems that Andrew Stanton does not fare so well when it comes to directing live action movies.

Frankly, John Carter is somewhat a messy movie with a few good ideas here and there.

Ok, this guy was actually rather cute.

When John Carter first arrived on Mars, he had trouble trying to move. Due to the lower gravity and his higher bone density, he could jump ridiculously high and throw killing punches.

So, kinda like the Hulk then.

Without the nigh invulnerability.

And the increased healing.

And certainly without the purple pants.

That particular scene where he was trying to get used to the new environment was actually a delightfully funny scene to watch.

And less than 10 minutes afterwards, that particular trouble is gone. It was forgotten a bit too quickly me thinks, nor was it ever properly explained.

A lot of other aspects of the story get the exact same treatment.

How does he breathe in the Martian atmosphere?

What the heck does he eat?

And in a bizzarely disjointing scene, we had the four-armed Martian Tharks speaking in a completely alien language to Carter, and immediately in the next scene, human-looking Martians of Helium speaking perfectly coherent English.

No amount of cleavage could take my attention away
from the lack of explanation on those details.

Hurm.

Mostly though, the characterization and the pacing of the story is somewhat messy.

Typical problems of a movie based on a novel I guess. There is simply not enough time to jam everything inside the time frame of a single movie.

There was a twist or two towards the end of the movie. Which was done pretty well in my opinion.

The action scenes were actually pretty decent though. And I liked the design of the Martian airships, though they're more of the awesome but impractical type airships.

It's so damn open!! Anyone with decent tactical knowledge could probably take down the aircraft with minimal equipment.

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So, to summarize the movie:

• The story is messy and inconsistent
• Decent characters, but still suffers from inconsistency and clarity
• Decent action 
• Damn good special effects and design though

Well, personally, it's nothing great of a movie.

If nothing else, it's probably like the over-cooked appetizer before the epic main course that will undoubtedly be the summer blockbuster movies.

*cough* Avengers *cough*

Relatively, its somewhat the better of the movies that are available in the cinemas at the moment, though frankly that's not saying much.

Ah, hell.

At least it wasn't like Ghost Rider. Am I right?

*shudder*